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A post-divorce ‘nesting” living arrangement can work

It is often said that the decision to divorce is one of the most difficult ones live can bring. For many, the decision is obviously the right one, but the problems come with trying to figure out how to do it with the minimum amount of harm caused to all those concerned. This is especially true when there are children in the marriage. Some New Jersey families are trying a novel approach that may have some benefits.

An immediate issue that requires the couples’ attention is the new living arrangement. It may be stressful for the kids and economically burdensome for the parents if two separate households are established right away. Some family and relationship experts now suggest an approach called “nesting” whereby the parents, although divorced, both remain living with the kids in the family home for a temporary period of time. It is designed to give the family a little breathing room at first, but extending the arrangement indefinitely can cause problems.

As the couple fully transitions to two homes, the more consistent they can be with each other when it comes to parenting rules, the better it is for the children. For instance, living in close proximity cuts down on commute times and allows the kids to maintain their same circle of friends, and being consistent with rules, expectations and consequences makes it easier for the kids to adjust and reduces triggers for anger and acting out bad behavior.

Ex-spouses will be united as joint parents to their children long after the legal divorce is completed. A family law attorney may help with child custody, parenting plans and modification agreements as families proceed through divorce and on to their new beginnings.