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5 things to do when asking your spouse for a divorce

The more you think about divorce, the easier it becomes to wrap your head around the idea of going down this path. It's not something to take lightly, but once you're positive that it's the right decision, it's time to take action.

The first step in getting a divorce is discussing your feelings with your spouse. For many people, this is more difficult than the actual process itself.

There are five things you can do to reduce stress and tension when asking your spouse for a divorce.

  • Prepare for the conversation: Don't assume that you know how your spouse will react. Instead, prepare for everything that could come up, including your spouse becoming visibly upset and/or angry. Just like anything in life, preparation is key to success.
  • Choose the right place and time: You don't want to ask your spouse for a divorce when you're lying in bed at night. You don't want to ask your spouse for a divorce when you're eating dinner with your family. There's a time and place for everything, and this definitely holds true about asking for a divorce.
  • Keep calm: A lot of things can happen after you ask for a divorce, but you must keep calm no matter what. For example, if your spouse begins to scream, blaming everything on you, take a deep breath and stick with your plan. Fighting back will only make things worse.
  • Don't change your mind: You have thought a lot about asking for a divorce and you know it's the right decision for you. Don't change your mind just because of something your spouse says.
  • Don't get into the details: There is a lot to work out before your divorce is finalized, such as matters related to child custody, child support and property division. You shouldn't talk about these things shortly after asking for a divorce, as it's likely to result in an argument.

If you do these things when asking your spouse for a divorce, you can better control the conversation and where it ends up.

Once you ask for a divorce, turn your attention to the process, your legal rights and the steps you can take to put your marriage in the past with the least amount of aggravation possible.

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